I'm Really Doing This!?!?

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Did it take anyone else WAY TOO LONG to write their first (ever!) blog post?

What should I write? What should I not write? What am I doing? And why? Am I really doing this?!?!

Yes!

I'm really doing this.

For me.

Yay!

The present me and the future me are relying heavily on the past me, right now. Oh, reflection...

After years of dancing professionally, I transitioned willingly into teaching and choreography in order to have a schedule more conducive to raising my 3 kids. Work and family life have afforded me wonderful experiences and opportunities throughout the years and for a long while, I felt quite satisfied. 

Fast forward a few years and my kids have now reached an age where I can invest more time into me and my continued development. I was then faced with the tough task of deciding "what" to do. I do have a university degree in Kinesiology and it has absolutely complimented my dance teaching, but since my life's work to this point has been routed in dance, I knew that was what I longed to dive into. 

The idea of a Masters Degree seemed like a good one. I'm a planner, organizer, Type A personality who loves check lists and doesn't do things spontaneously. Higher education seemed like a logical "next step" to take with potential to lead me to new opportunities in my future. 

I thought I was dreaming when I came across the MAPP DTP at Middlesex while I was (re)searching. Reputable - yes, intriguing - yes, ONLINE -wait, what?!, YES!!! Amazing since I live in Sweden and can obviously not be on campus regularly.

Pause for a second... 

Am I capable of doing an MA? Will I enjoy the process? Will it help me in the future? Should I?

I have no idea. 

That is my answer for the first 3 questions and TOO LATE is the answer for the last.

I'm in and we are starting!

I'm filled with feelings ranging from excitement and readiness to anxiousness and self doubt (already!).

It has been a minute since I have been in an academic setting. Naturally, there are nerves. Backstage, pre-curtain, about to embark on something big type nerves.

Our Welcome Skype with Adesola and Helen on Friday was nice. It clarified a few wonderings that I had and we briefly saw and heard from some of the other MA students. 

From the Skype, I took away a few things that resonated with me:

1. My education is MY responsibility. 

Ok, I like that. I am an adult. Challenge accepted.

2. I now belong to a new community.

How nice to think that I can bounce ideas off of and learn from others in a non-competitive environment!

3. I am officially FAR outside of my comfort zone.

I understand now that this is going to be unlike anything else I have done before. Boundary pushing development of my mind, perhaps.

It's now been roughly 24 hours since our Welcome Skype ended and I have not stopped thinking about what lies ahead in regards to the programme. Provoking.

I have never bungee jumped, but I am imaging that this is what it feels like right before you JUMP! Haha! I just hope that my harness is fastened correctly. Well, only one way to find out, right?

3... 2... 1...

                                                 

Comments

  1. Kym Walton MAPPSeptember 22, 2020 at 7:27 AM

    Hi Natalie, great to find another new starter! Its all a little overwhelming at the moment, isn't it, but hopefully things will start to become clearer. i was not very good at the reflection side of the course when I did the BA a few years ago. So having done it once, it seems even harder to do it again! AS i have said on my Blog, I am definitely an Activist so don't like to look at the past!! Look forward to seeing you in discussions! Kym

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NatalieSeptember 22, 2020 at 10:38 AM

      Hi Kym!
      Thank you for reading and replying to my post.
      Really nice to hear that I'm not alone in my state of confusion! Hahaha!
      I too, am hoping for a bit of clarity in the next little while and then maybe we will start to settle in.
      In the meantime, happy reading/thinking!
      And yes, see you soon in the discussion groups!
      /Natalie

      Delete
  2. Lucian StanSeptember 24, 2020 at 7:19 AM

    Hi, Natalie! Yes, it took me also a great deal of time (and courage) to write my first blog post! and your questions were also my questions, “where to go”, “what to take on firstly”, “what to plan”... Anyhow, congratulations on your decision on your MAPP, a time and space for your own (in between your family and job tasks)!

    And I am sure this master will prove (among other things) that sometimes “go with the flow”/“pure improvisation”/‘irational’ intuition are not opposite concept to what you are used (to put you at ease).
    Have a good bungee-jumping journey! We, your MAPP mates, are supporting you! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NatalieSeptember 24, 2020 at 7:56 AM

      Hi Lucian! Thank you so much for your words.
      Yesterday, you made a comment about how this MA was a choice you made to do something for yourself - because you really wanted to. I smiled as you said that. I truly understand that.
      We share that as a common motivation.
      I am grateful for the support and intend to give mine back to all of you as well.
      Like I said.... here we go... 3...2...1..., right?!?! Ha!!

      Delete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 24, 2020 at 7:51 AM

    Hi Natalie! It took me some time to formulate what i was going to put down. Then i just thought be open to something new and trust in the process. I have never blogged before in my life!!!

    I feel there is so much to learn, but following the modules and communicating with everyone,I hope, by doing this we will all have a better understanding as we move through the course.

    Best Wishes

    Dan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. NatalieSeptember 24, 2020 at 8:03 AM

      Hi Dan! Reading all of the replies that I have received has certainly helped ease my nerves on blogging. I am surprised (and oh so relieved!) that I am not the only rookie blogger. I suppose I assumed that many had experience with this before and I would stand out as a novice.
      Cheers to us all for being brave enough to begin this MA journey and for starting the whole thing off with a blog. Yay for us!
      Thanks for your reply,
      Natalie :)

      Delete

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